π™˜π™žπ™§π™˜π™‘π™šπ™¨.

β€œit is not working, san.”

together, they are sitting face to face. back at the corner of the place they went for the first time many years ago for a date. together, they are gripping on their cup of coffee; piping hot, and yet they can't feel the burn directly. for the heavy feeling that floats around them freely, is clogging their senses perfectly.

at time like this, wooyoung does question himself; what did go wrong in their little but smooth journey? from the bright love he always cherished, to the dull pain that is poking his heart. from the silly kisses they exchanged, to the cold shoulders they share.

β€œand what is not working?”

wooyoung looks up and catches the cold that swims in those brown orbs he used to love so much. because he often saw himself there back then, until he could no longer bear the void that started to grow inside. of negligence, of the scars that had already formed permanently across his chest. and it hurts, it hurts so much.

therefore, wooyoung smiles. simply because an old memory of them holding hands is coming into his mind at the moment; reminding him that today, it's only him and his warm mug of beverage he drinks bitterly, and gestures to themselves with his hand.

β€œus,” he says.

his voice comes out softer and calmer than he had planned and expected, and he wonders for how long has he been preparing himself to meet this day?

β€œah, i've been meaning to talk about,” san clears his throat, and wooyoung can feel his anxiety crawls against his skin. β€œthat.”

maybe they really are not meant to be, and wooyoung forces himself to think about the days where he cried himself to sleep thinking about the value of everything he had done to save them. to think about the day he went to their promised date alone because the older could never make a time for him, let alone for them. to the day he realized that he had lost the boy even before he could say good bye. that san had walked away, and leaving him behind.

β€œyeah,” wooyoung takes a sip on his coffee, and thinks about how he really hates this, and only drink that because san love it. today, he feels pretty stupid for doing that for years already; for always giving his best, even when he received nothing in return.

β€œlet's stop, san.”

wooyoung can see how san's eyes flickers quickly. like it's not something the boy had expected before. like wooyoung is a strange entity he can't decipher. but, maybe wooyoung really is, had became a new blooming existence that has no choi san in his mind. that had decided to quit as well, because staying only gave him nothing but lingering pain.

β€œlet's stop this.” he says once more, because san makes no move to give him the words he want.

β€œi'm tired of waiting, and running in circles. so, let's just stop this,” wooyoung pauses to take a quick glance at the older male, and thinks that this will be the last time he'll see those used to be kind eyes. β€œlet's stop hurting ourselves.”

β€œokay,” san finally says. and for the first time after months, he finally sees pain gets reflected across san's face. it really is a new thing, and yet he can't help himself but to think that it's already too late. they're beyond saving, and he no longer has anything to offer to keep them rowing.

β€œthank you,”

for the memories they ever made, for the laughter they ever shared. for the warm embrace and love he ever felt. for the tears he ever shedded. for the pain, and for the lesson he ever gotten from.

in the end, san bid him farewell with a soft kiss on his cheek. and as he watches the boy stands and takes his first official step to get out of his life, he lets himself relaxing; feeling the way his shoulders gets lighter within seconds passes by, upon realizing that he had released his agony for real.

therefore, when he steps out of the cafe all burden less; enjoying the way the wind slinks pass by and messes up his hair, he wonders what took him so long to let go.

𝙠𝙑𝙖π™ͺ𝙨𝙖, 7.26 pm.